When Shame meets Trust: 2 powerful values and how to move on.

It is “the one” who tried, worked beloved, who is left with shame. It is the abuse of the power of trust.

When Shame meets Trust: It is 2 powerful values who meet.

It is two of your major values that meet as opponents. Trust the believe you can do it, shame the failure you did not have the right judgment.

Let’s take one step closer to who we are as people and let’s dig into why it is so important for us to understand how to navigate between the two values.

Here are simple questions DO YOU BELIEVE IN THE:

  1. Company, Leaders, Boss, Manager?
  2. Family?
  3. Do you believe in you?

To question number one we can easily answer “yes” and know it is a lie. I mean who trusts a company today?

And who trusts a leader or boss you know is going to fire you within the next 2-5 years.

Still, you would properly answer yes I trust the company, I trust my Boss and then have your personal doubts.

Question numbers 2 and 3 are a bit harder as that is your family and about you? So do you hold your family?

Do you trust yourself?

Why – do I ask these questions?

Because your call to action, all depends upon the horizon and the timeframe, the investment you do as a person.

When shame meets trust.

One person has trusted the other person more than they trusted themselves.

One part has placed trust in the other person company.

Why is it important to understand; shame and trust when they meet?

Now, it has become even more important than ever to understand how to navigate and know what happens when shame and trust meet.

If you are the one who let go, you believe and become smarter, if you are the one who it happens to you feel shame.

When shame and trust meet “it is fatal” because one part is left with a strong feeling of failure.

The one who feels shame is often the part who has trusted and done all he or she, could make the workout well.

And when you stand and look at the person, who misused your trust, what do you see.

You see and look at someone who feels even more powerful who has lifted confidence.

You automatically feel shame, you tell yourself that you did something wrong and your choices were wrong.

It’s how you believe in yourself.

It’s all wrong – Here is why and how to change it:

Let us first see how we define shame and trust

Wikipedia defines Shame as:

Shame is an unpleasant self-conscious emotion typically associated with a negative evaluation of the self, withdrawal motivations, and feelings of distress, exposure, mistrust, powerlessness, and worthlessness.”

Wikipedia defines trust as:

Trust has several connotations.[1] Definitions of trust[2][3] typically refer to a situation characterized by the following aspects: One party (trustor) is willing to rely on the actions of another party (trustee); the situation is directed to the future.

In addition, the trustor (voluntarily or forcedly) abandons control over the actions performed by the trustee. As a consequence, the trustor is uncertain about the outcome of the other’s actions; they can only develop and evaluate expectations. The uncertainty involves the risk of failure or harm to the trustor if the trustee will not behave as desired.”

It is the abuse of the power of trust.

The 2 values should never meet. If you feel shame your trust has been abused and it is time to let go.

Letting go does not mean that you are weak it means that you are strong enough to let the abuse go.

Today companies fire people “easy hire easy fire”. A few years back, that was smart moves for companies to make if a leader could not manage to get the performance. Now, this has lost its value, people do no longer trust a company or their boss.

Now companies cannot get the people who are willing to do what it takes, they have silence and pleasers. No one with the right mind will say the truth.

Results are that people will work as a consultant and on projects but do not hire me. I know what I am.

Problems up we do not have problems today, opportunities are when different values meet and be smart and talk it through so you know what you are up against. You have 4 areas where values meet – your health, mind, family, and business.

Do not be outsmarted – be smart and share your story.

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Written by Berit Lagdefoged, well versed writer at CAL.