The gap is between – What do you want, where do you stand today? Why did you have the choice to come to where you are today? This is your story, and only you know if this is right or wrong for you.

Think of a case doing you read to know how to use the Gap tool for you, add it to the forum, and remember to say that you are using the gap tool.

Estimated reading time: 12 minutes

Do you see the missing bricks or links, do you know, what it takes to go where you belong, and are you willing to take the steps and changes to get the outcome you want and be where you belong?

One suggestion is to use the tool within NLP

S – Specific – set your goal, investigates, and make sure you have all points to set the specific goal.

M – Measurable – know and therefore measure yourself

A – Attractive – it must be attractive

R – Realistic – are you being realistic

T – Time framed – what is your time frame and hold yourself upon it

E – Ecological – it must be good for the world else you know inside it is wrong.

Use the Gap tool for the points you have, and look there are several gaps it is never one thing standing alone when we use the gap tool take the advantage of using the forum or even start a group to talk about the gaps – what is in the gaps – there is never anything.

When we do self-coaching, when we heal ourselves, we do it,

we do it because something inside so strong, is moving us, we have to face, that sometimes it is good to make the moves,

Why the gap arises and why we feel something so strong to make the change will not take up here, the Gap tool it very good to make when it is small things small gaps.

There is a change that we will not find all the values and habits, and this is for the Gap tool not important, important is that you find out a lot more, you have a chance to find the understanding you need.

Our mind is our way, it is what we say it is, try it, just a small test, know something you tell yourself, and then tell yourself something very different.

Let me show you, what I mean, I believe, and since I believe it, it is my truth,  that parents in my son’s school have an attitude against us, so when I think this, what does that do to the way that I act.

It influences me in a way that when I take my son to his class, this means,  that when I meet any of the parents, I do not have a natural way of behaving, I am in alert and I am not an open person as I normally am.

So when the parents meet me, are they right if they say, that I am not friendly and an open person that is easy to talk to, yes they are, they are 100% right.

What does this show, that what I think is how it is because this is how I make it?

So what do I want, do I want to be this person they see:

  • Not open
  • Not friendly
  • With an attitude

I could say that I am very open, and if the right circumstances are there, we are all open, we are all friendly and we want to join.

The gap is and comes when our experience tells us something. There is always a way and there is always a reason, no one does anything out of nothing.

There are 2 things, that can happen over time, one is that things stay as they are over time from their perspective, I will become the person that people see as not open, not friendly and with an attitude.

I decide to change the way I see it, this changes, the way I meet the people going in, and I am in charge of who I am and who I want to be.

So my Gap is what do I want to change and how do I want to have it. I need to ask and work with myself to find out what am I willing to do. What am I willing to do for my son, what kind of a mother do I want for him to have.

How much does it mean to me that I am what I decide I am.

I can decide to not do anything, I can let time go and let the decisions be taken by others, or I can decide, this is my life and my experience tells me, that the forces in the class are very strong and that I cannot change the attitude, we are different, and we see life differently.

I do not believe the same as they do, and I do not believe, that I have the truth, I do not believe that we solve trouble and problems between our children by harassing and telling each other off. I do not believe that treats solve anything.

I do not want to be like that, and therefore my choice is to move my son from this. I want him to grow up understanding that we are all different and we all add to this world, that we do the best we can, and if you can see it done better it is your responsibility to bid in with a voice.

This is not done with harassment, treats, and telling off.

Therefore I choose to do things my way with my beliefs and if I am to do that, my gaps are, I am not a person that is not friendly, I am a kind person that believes that we speak nicely to everyone and that everyone has a voice,

How do I practice this in daily life? How can I be me, with what I believe and how can I stay true to me knowing, that I am challenged in several ways in my beliefs.

  • So when parents write us and harass us as family and our son what do I do?
  • So when parents are aggressive in persons what do I do?
  • So when parents tell lies about us what do I do?
  • So when parents twist the truth to their advantage what do I do+
  • So when parents bullet us, what do I do?

All the above are situations that I need to focus on and prepare myself for, so I know what I do. The lesson, number one.

Never promise when you are happy

When you are hurt and angry do not say anything

Do not make decisions when you are sad.

If we go by this, then I must think about, what is the right thing to do, if there is anything with my son, I must ask the teacher, who is in place to say, what really happened, I will need to make sure that I never say or do anything that gives initiatives that I and we are like they say.

  • I need to keep silent or calm in all situations,
  • I need to have a nice and warm attitude when I am among
  • I need to keep silent and listen,
  • I need to see and hear if I am to understand what forces that move the parents, and why.

And then I need to ask myself a very important question.

How much energy am I willing to put into this, how important is this to me? And how important is this to my son?

Gap tool is to see where you are and to see what you need to change and what you need to do.

You can have a gap, and you can have a gap.

There are the gaps that you want to do something about, there are the gaps that are a goal for you to change, because you want to move up or down to the level and the point.

There are the values and the understanding of the point, the difference in the gap, who would I be if I wrote the parents of every time the bullet my son.

Who would I be if I wrote the parents of the girl that hit our son so hard and he had to go home because he was crying so much, who would I be if I wrote the parents treats and harassing things.

Why do parents think, that they have this right?

Why does any parent think that they have the right, and know what is going on and even happening, what role do they see that they have themselves, and what do they think? In this writing hour.

I can honestly say, I could never ever write or say the things I see and hear. I am frankly so shocked that parents treat each other like this.

Is this good behavior and how would I need to be in order to fit into this, and do I want to change to that.

A gap tool is such a great tool to work with over time because it gives you a visual picture of your situation, you get to see the points from different angles and you get the opportunity to evaluate, see in this case, this case is very difficult because I do not want to fill out the gap.

Take one mother, she takes her children to a level, where they push other children so hard, that the child ends up defending himself, and the mother takes her case and gets this boy thrown out of the school.

Why would you want to be a person, that does not accept others, and why would you want to be a person that throws other people out of school, you may have your reasons, and when we stop for a second, why is it, that we have a standard away, that we see as the only way.

When we know, that there are so many ways and sometimes by seeing the way of others we get stronger in our own way. Why do we need others to do it our way?

Going back to the gap tool, the gap tool is all analyzes of all the points to understand, where you stand today and where you would like to stand.

Looking at the case, my first stand was that I am willing to do what it takes to be a part of the parents in my sons class, first I thought I would do anything, now from going into the analysis.

I know that I do not want to be a person that reports to others.

I do not want to be a person that treats, harasses, and kicks other people out.

So my first assumption’s that I am willing to be what it takes to be a part of the team.

I can no longer work, and using the Gap tool tells me that I need to find other ways, there is another outcome.

I need to find out how I can be who I am, in a space where I think I do not belong and do not want to belong.

Where do I go from here?

The Gap tool, if you decide to use it in the forum or group remembers to tell the reader that you are using the gap tool, if we do not tell, do we write that we are using the gap tool it can be very difficult for the reader to understand why we are talking all points from several sides.

The good part when writing in the Gap tool is that you get to be challenged and you yourself have a chance to see what is happening, and where are you, and who and what do you want to be.

Using the Gap tool is also very efficient for yourself, are you willing to do what it takes and what is required.

Are you willing to do the changes, and what are those changes?

If we look at a case like,

I want to be fit, are you willing to add the hours into training, if I want to be fit and in with good muscles am I willing to work out the hours, that is required in order to be as fit as I want?

Do I want to eat healthy food to be healthy?

Using the gap tool is talking about, what does it require and am I willing to do what it takes.

We think we know and we think we understand what it takes, and once we start working with the gap tools and get all the points in, we may have had a vision and a view,

and we will see that we need to take the gap tool more than once, we may be wrong in our assumptions,

as I was with the parents, I never ever want to be like them. I am not that, and I do not need to tell or make a deal of it.

I need to work on the Gap tool again to find out, where I can get a balance and what I am willing to do.

I need to look even deeper to find out why, I need to ask myself why, why and how to get this “to work” better for the sake of my son. I love you him and he is my star of life, for him, I will do what it takes.

Using the Gap tool is all about looking at where you, to where you want to be, what is in between and what are you willing to do, what is in between.  It is all the in-between that is in question.

We within CAL can recommend using the Gap tool when you have a topic for which you would like to change the outcome.

Tell everyone what you do during your journey

Why does coaching forums works?

Whatever happens in your life – what you know and how you use is all that matters.

Be smart.
Build up the right network of know-how to your needs.

Be Dynamic.
Ensure you can change and be flexible not only in performance but also in knowledge and behavior.

Dare to do it.
Follow what you want in life. Let go of other people’s judgment and opinion, follow your dreams and get what you want, need, and desire.

The coaching forums works, because here you get a chance to align your ideas, thoughts and to go for, before you execute them in real life.

You are among like-minded, a confidential room where what we want, need, and desire is what we share, shape and form to ensure you get the results you want in life.

What you need – you to seek?

In the coaching forums, you find answers to your questions and you get feedback. The more questions you ask the better you become at understanding your own needs, desires, and wants.

22 thoughts on “Where You Are to Where You Want to Be – Is The Use of Gap tool.

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