The Secret To Happiness
By: Shelia Heard
Why It Is Important to Believe in Yourself
You may wonder why it is important to believe in yourself. The simple answer is that no one else will. Your spouse and your family will believe in you to a certain extent. However, when times get tough, family support tends to wane. It’s not that they don’t love and care about you. It’s just they stopped believing in you.
While this doesn’t always happen, it happens often enough to cause conflict. An example is when a spouse or parents initially give you support on a new venture. When the venture doesn’t work out as they believe it should, they start to question whether you should continue with it. If your belief starts to weaken, you may take on their way of thinking.
The reason beliefs start to weaken is due to a fear of the unknown. When you start a new venture, everyone is excited for you and will tell you to give it your best shot. However, when the prospects of the business become murkier, that excitement turns to fear.
The problem is the path towards success for these ventures is not a straight line up. Having some bumps in the road is normal. In fact, this is what defines the success of the enterprise, and the people who are taking risks. It should be welcomed and not feared.
The fear of the unknown may start to creep into your psyche. It’s easier to listen to your family and friends tell you to dissolve your venture because it is failing. They will continue down this negative path until you decide to stop. If you do choose to give up on your business, they will tell you that it wasn’t meant to be and that starting a business is difficult.
That time is precisely the moment that you shouldn’t stop. People never get ahead by quitting. If you believe in yourself, you would have had the conviction to see it through. You would have the appropriate guidance to give you the strength to surge ahead. You could have done all of it while telling your family and friends to have some faith. A firm belief in yourself would give you the courage to stand up to them.
Whatever venture you decide to pursue, know that only by continuing will you make it work. Think of Thomas Edison’s contribution to the lightbulb. While he did not invent the lightbulb (contrary to popular belief), he made ones that lasted longer. Imagine if he decided to quit after he ran into a few stumbling blocks early on.
The Perils of Self-Doubt
Have you ever doubted yourself? Perhaps that seems like a silly question as most people have doubted themselves at some point in their lives. But, many people continue to doubt themselves, and this can be a major contributor in holding them back towards success.
Why do people engage in self-doubt? The reason is that it is easier to doubt yourself than it is to believe that something is possible. When you believe in your concept, it is something that hasn’t materialized yet. It is unfamiliar territory for you. Our protection mechanisms tell us to reach for something that is familiar. We use this as a reason to quit.
The unknown also helps us to come up with excuses. It’s easy to say it won’t work because, and then insert whatever reason can set your mind at ease. You can even find help from others in coming up with excuses. They have plenty of them for you to choose from. If they didn’t, they would be succeeding at their goals.
Sometimes self-doubt can help us survive. For instance, if someone said that you could jump off a high cliff and not get killed, your self-doubt will reassure you that this is a bad idea. Self-doubt can also sometimes guide you to not get into something unnecessarily, like a business opportunity that sounds too good to be true, etc.
In most cases, self-doubt is not something that will advance your life. It will hold you back, and you need always to be aware of that. Don’t take the easy way out. Do prepare yourself as much as possible for unfamiliar situations. But, go forward with a strong belief that you can accomplish what you set out to do.
Try to structure your life so that you have more positive than negative energy. Use affirmations, support groups, or whatever works to flush out as much negative energy as possible. Negative energy is what self-doubt is all about. The two forces are opposing each other. If you have 100% negative energy that means you have 0% positive energy. Therefore, try to tip the scale to as much positivity as possible and push away the negativity.
The world is full of negative energy. It’s unlikely that you can ever have 100% positive energy. But, you can work towards exposing yourself to positive energy. You can stop listening or reading the news, and you can reduce your exposure to negative people. Positive people do exist. You just need to find them.
The Power of Self-Belief
If you believe in yourself, there is little to stop you in whatever you want to accomplish. It gives you the power to push forward and to defy the odds. You will be able to handle any roadblocks that come your way. You will also brush off the naysayers. It gives you peace of mind when you stick to your self-belief.
To keep that self-belief strong, you need to define your goals. You wouldn’t expect a general to fight a war without a map. You too need a map to guide you on how to proceed. Too many people skip this step and wonder why they aren’t getting anywhere.
Goals are your guidance, but carrying through with them is only done when you believe that it’s possible. The belief is the energy you need to take action. It helps you to focus on getting your tasks complete.
You will also build confidence when you have self-belief. It’s a powerful tool as others will be attracted to that confidence. They will follow your lead, and you will help show them what is possible. When you run into any stumbling blocks (and you will), that confidence will help you see them through. You will know how to take alternative action when necessary. The people following you will respect that as well.
Several forces will try to beat you down. You may even find yourself letting it happen. You need to get centered on why you started your journey in the first place. Use affirmations to reinforce your message. Be consistent with your affirmations.
Unfortunately, many of the negative forces are going to be from your family and friends. They will see it as helping you avoid mistakes. Many people will succumb to this negative pressure and give up. One way to prevent this is to join groups of like-minded individuals. It can be related to your business, or it can be groups that focus on self-help. These organizations exist to try and push the negative forces out. It’s great to go to meetings and get encouragement from the group.
Attending these groups can sometimes lead to friendships with people where you can extend the encouragement of each other. You may even form business partnerships from these friendships. It’s good to know that you have the support of these people when these relationships form. They understand when everyone else around you doesn’t. Your self-belief will strengthen considerably from this arrangement.
6 TIPS To Become Happy
What makes people happy? If you have been struggling with trying to be happy
yourself, perhaps it’s time to see how happy people are doing it. By learning what
they do, you can emulate them for success.
1. People go between states of emotions constantly.
You can be happy for a short period, and then you are thinking about
something that stresses you out. Even people who seem happy all the time go
through changes in emotion. These people are more likely to be content. No
one is truly happy all the time. This is an important concept to learn so you
don’t put too much pressure on yourself when you see others who seem
2. Consider what you have in life.
Are you in good health? If you aren’t in good health and can do something
about it, then that is a key area to focus on. Learn how to eat right, even if you
have to hire a nutritionist. Incorporate exercise into your routine. It’s not
necessary to become a gym rat to get in shape. You can become healthier by
3. Happiness is not just about money.
Although having enough to provide for your family is less stressful, people who
are happy in life don’t care much about money. When people become
obsessed with money, they can usually obtain it. But, it doesn’t lower their
stress. In fact, obsession often raises stress because it becomes the sole
4. People who are happy don’t chase dollars.
They are content with what they are doing and don’t worry about trying to
squeeze out another salary increase. It’s okay to get them occasionally. But, if
you chase the buck; you will never become good at anything. People who are
happy often are experts in what they do. They made it this way because they
stuck with it and didn’t chase dollars.
5. It’s rare to find people who are happy and don’t have any friends.
Socializing is a big factor when trying to be happy. You don’t need dozens of
friends. When you have a few that you can trust, that will be all that is
necessary. It’s okay to use social media to connect, but if you can get together
in person, that is even better.
6. Try to make your home an environment where everyone feels safe.
People who are happy, know that family is important. They know that their
homes should be a sanctuary. If it’s not, they take steps to correct the
situation. Spending time with family is a huge part of what makes people
- Make a list of what you currently have. List both material items and intangible items. Sometimes, all that is needed to snap out of a bad mood is to refer to your list. You will see that your life is not bad, and you have most, if not all, of what you need.
- Come up with a meal plan for the next thirty days. Work with a nutritionist and get a solid plan. Eating the right foods can help you improve your outlook. It will give you more energy and will start to make you feel better. This can only make you happier.
- Set up a time to hang out with close friends once per month. If you have lost touch with some people, try to reconnect. You could also try making new friends. Make it a point to go to in-person locations. You can peruse the local paper or take a look online for meetings that are happening in your area.
If you want additional support, simply go to www.coachingandlife.com. Feel free to leave a comment.