Can you do?
You have done it, you have said stop, and you are now ready to move on and start over. Here come 7 things that are good to be aware of when moving on.
Over a long period you hav,e felt the power of challenge. What did the challenge teach you and what lesson are you taking with you forward?
To break it a bit down, the only reason why we call it a challenge is because we do not have the ability first hand to solve it. Everything we know how to solve we do not call a challenge we just do it.
Why did it not work out the way you wanted it to?
What went wrong?
It did not only go wrong for you, for everyone involved it went wrong. If the out-come is walked away, then everything both sides did, went wrong.
Why did you come to the conclusion to move on:
It is always important for our inner process to know why we decide to let go. If you are not aware of why you are letting go, you are taking a ride and you will return to the same place with the same trouble. If you decide to let something beautiful go, out lack of ability to find common basis, then it is very important to you to know your involvement and your own impact.
My son has been bullied in school, but he has also been bullied by our neighbors who had their son here for more than a year. We did not decide to move on they did, looking back I cannot tell you how much it was the right thing. I We did not see what was happening and how we did not defend ourselves. We just took it. You can never just take it. From parents, we hear that they were chocked over the fact that we just took a victim role, but I guess that is what you would see, when a person rises and tells how it feels.
The feeling of always giving in,
the feeling of always being wrong,
the feeling of always having to hear how some one else is right. It is a feeling of hurt that goes so dept.
To walk away may not solve the issue and the joke may move with us, but the fact that one gets a cut, a piece of mind, a moment feeling that they can no longer hurt me, it is the feeling of rise.
I am sure for all parents out there, you think like I do, if only my child is well I can take it all. Having said that I also believe that there is always, always two sides of a story which brings us back to,
1. Why did you decide to move on
From within know what made you come to the final and let all go. Starting over is starting over, you will need to really look inside and know, this is what you really want.
2. Will moving on change it
It only changes if you change. There is nothing happening that you are not creating and I know one could say that yes there is, and I would like to draw your attention to your dreams, are any of them happening? By themselves? Or is any of your dreams within so hard work that you almost feel like giving up.
It is easy to blame someone else, but the fact is that whatever we face we create ourselves, and what we spend time on is what will grow and that there will be more of.
It is never easy to let it go, letting go does not mean that you are weak, maybe letting go means that you are strong enough to let it go. You know you can do better and that there is no reason to spend time disagreeing.
Here are two approaches to be aware of:
- Are you disagreeing because you do not want the same thing?
- Are you disagreeing because your values of life are different?
The two are not the same, one is on behavior level the other one on identity. Depending on which level you are, you define why you are moving on.
One of the challenges we see today is things are going so fast and people must all adapt and fit straight away there is not time to understand the task or to talk it over. It is one click, and problem is gone.
Life is not like that.
Your life and all we do is in between, you are born, and you die. The only think you will leave behind is the story you live or the feeling you gave. It is what makes the difference, anyone can solve your tasks at work, anyone can be a girlfriend or boyfriend, anyone can rise kids, but no one can do it the way you do.
You are unique and there is only you to involve and ensure that your voice matters and is heard. Moving on will not solve it, it will give you a change to change the chapter and do it again.
3. What is first step forward
What are you going to change and how will you hold yourself accountable for the change, how will you know that you are not starting the same chapter over again.
What is my first step? I will take different action, I will listen to myself, I will have a friendly approach and appear where needed in right way and manners.
Easy written and so hard to practice, am I doing the right thing, fact is I will call if I hear about something and fact is that I will standup for whom we are:
Not wait until it is too late.
Yes I did not,
it does not matter to me what other people think, I am busy finding my own way, but when we are talking about public school, people enter and there are parents with other right.
Nothing is fair, it is what you take, and as parents the voice you use automatically gives your children the space they need. I believe it is the reason why many people choose to have their children in a private school, because you need to know the rules and what is the right thing to do.
You first step is to let it go, let it be go and do not look back at it again. Think over and think fresh the world is open for you a new way forward.
A new way forward is just what you need to work for.
Change your mindset, time is a good healer and it is wise to use your time to think – think more an act less until you know what you really want.
How to change your mind-set is hard as you in many cases don’t know what is wrong, it is not about finding out what went wrong it is about you following what is right for you and believing in what you do.
There is no letting go
There is no moving on
There is life forward with or without the people you were together with.
Your life is yours and you know what is right for you and it is all up to you to make your life happen. What you want in your life you have.
4. Act on what you want to happen
What you want in your life you need to make happen.
Make a list over the things that are important to you
Make a GAP analysis over the topics that you want to change so you know what you want
5. Making your new way
It is so easy to criticize, it is a whole different task to make something happen and create it, yes something happened, and it is not you, you are what you do and the action you take.
Moving on is first step into the unknown, it is when you stand in the hall way and everyone is looking at you, you just know they all know you are new.
They don’t they do not even know who where you are going and why you are there, the feeling is within you.
You have a golden change to make your way, to look inside out and feel from within what you want and how you want it, see yourself as you want it and as you dream your life is, if you for so long have been giving other people your power so that they could create what they needed as they wanted. Stop and think about how you want it.
What are you doing?
How are you doing it?
Feel the feelings you are having?
Listen to yourself
See and feel yourself in the perfect surroundings?
6. How will it change you?
Often life is 80/20 you have the 80 but feel you are missing the 20 – then you let go of the 80 and go for the 20 but that does not work at all.
Then you go back to 80/20
When being bullied it is not the case, the case is that something is in the community that is even stronger than one by one. It is created by the people who are together, and it is a way to watch over each other, a atmosphere of fear, a fear of not belonging and therefore by joining the others in saying one is wrong you manifest yourself and your own power.
Moving on will change you?
Being hurt that way leaves scares that takes time to heal
Being the one who has to make the final decision has impact on you?
7. If you do not do it, you let it happen
If you let it happen, you will feel the hurt inside and you will struggle with pain coming inside out. Maybe you will be able to handle the situation but support and guidance to move on and get it out, let it out. Do not carry psychic like this on your shoulders.
Find your way out of the darkness, I know someone might say you have the best life you could imagine. Your life belongs to you. It is up to you to make your life as your feel it within.
In CAL we aim to support and guide each other, life goes on in so many levels, some families are good at understanding social skills but does not know what is takes to make things happen or getting done. Other families are good at achieving goals within sports and have no Carrie job, some are families with lots of words and expression other families are no words at all.
We aim to learn from each other, one thing for sure, this life time is in the Fastlane and we must find ways to adapt and be even better and do things even more correct. We divide ourselves in fractions and groups, we need to understand ourselves within even better than before, because today we no longer have the time, time to think it over, if the phone rings and the person in the other end does not answer, you automatically assume something is wrong. If you do not answer your e-mails or have the meetings this week all changes so fast.
You must adapt -CAL coaches are that support and guidance when you need it. To ensure we offer you the right service we offer you 3 levels of membership, because as many solutions as there is, there is also different ways at looking at challenges. Some like to tell their side of the story and what it does, what impact and influence it has on their lives, others like to ping-pong and get it right and others like to learn life tools and find techniques to solve the challenges.
Fact is for all us, my way may not be your way.
Fact is that we are in no competition meaning that do not shot the light out for others – it will never make your own light shine, but if you make other people’s light shine maybe they will support you to have your light shine.
If you need support and if you need guidance, reach out to us there is always a life Coach to onboard you and they are always in the forums to ask?
Together we know more, together we can see many more solutions and ways, together we see the difference in the world.
Together we are a strong network that can support and guide you in private – personal and professional – and it is all in Private.
Be one of us – is having a hand to hold and being the one someone else can reach out to.