5 Ways to Navigate _ Trust in an Unstable World

Trust in an Unstable World

“Trust is the Foundation of every healthy Relationship.” Dave Willis

By – Nazeelah Noorjahan  ©2007-2018

Trust is a vital element missing in our society.  I remember when the ‘Michael Brown’ tragic occurred in Ferguson Missouri, I was in my third year of college pursuing a master degree in human service with my concentration in psychology.  My Social Sciences class was given the assignment to write a paper on modern society and the causes of separation and violence in our communities.  I decided to write about how there is a chasm between law enforcement and the black community due to a lack of trust.  People, in general, do not trust the police in this country.  Lack of trust in governmental structures, such as law enforcement and unjust court systems have spilled over into our everyday connections with each other, creating a sense of uncertainty in many aspects of everyday life.

 

Trust is a choice we make consciously and/or sometimes subconsciously.  “When we choose to put our trust in someone or something, we do so with emotion, believing that which we have chosen to trust (person or institution) will be reliable and honest and through this confidence, you feel safe physically and emotionally (loveisrespect.org).”

When we choose to trust someone, we do so through emotions of how we feel about our companionships and friendships through love, comfort, and agreement. (changingminds.org.)

But what if you have been hurt in the past by someone whom you had put full trust into? (and most have)  We still, despite being hurt in the past, must develop the courage to be vulnerable in our current relationships, although this would be allowing others the opportunity to take advantage of you your decision to trust anyway is an indication that you believe they won’t (Dave, Willis: loveisrespect.org.)

According to master coach, Tony Robbins, “trust can be overwhelming uncomfortable when it is based on a sense of uncertainty.” It can be experienced as a heavy burden.  Therefore, we tend to hold on to past pains because of their degree of certainty and familiarity (team Tony, TonyRobbins.com).

There are 5 ways you can let go of past hurts once you make the conscious decisions to get past hurtful memories and pains and to develop trust in your relationships.

 

 

*************************************************************************************

 

  1. Understand that only you can make the decision to let pass pain and disappoints go and you must decide consciously.   Forgiveness is a powerful tool in letting go.  LET IT GO!

 

 

  1. Express your pain. Tell someone about it.  Talk with a close friend or family member or if the pain seems to go deep (and it usually does), talk with a professional.  People who work in the ‘helping profession’ field. Are usually naturally compassionate towards people in general.  Consider getting a Life Coach who can perhaps share techniques on how to let go.

 

 

  1. Decide that you are going to stop being the victim. The person that was hurt is not who you are anymore.  Life has moved on without you because you have chosen to be left behind as a victim.  Get out of victimhood!  Instead of blaming try self-reflection.  Ask yourself, “What role am I playing in staying in victimhood?  How can I find joy in my life now?

 

  1. Forgive the other person or group and then forgive yourself.

 

  1. When we take the responsibility and the time to work on our personal self-development, we create a space that allows for trust to take root and grow. (Team Tony, tonyrobbins.com)

In intimate relationships, it is essential for two people to grow together and as individuals (power of positivity).  When personal growth becomes your initial focus, the relationship has the potential to become solid and long-lasting (power of positivity).

Remember, trusting others is a choice.  I trust myself to know and understand that life presents us with experiences and choices all the time and many of our experiences are judged as ‘right or wrong’ or ‘good or bad’, where potential lessons for our personal growth and development should be recognized. So, I trust myself and my divine inner guidance to always provide me with the experiences needed to move me forward in self-actualization.  People are just role players for whom I am grateful to for the lesson(s) they bring.

 

The poem below is from my poetry book, In Rare Form, Poetic Visions of a Light Warrior. (Available on Amazon)  The poem is a great example of how I turned my past pains to lessons learned and self-growth.

 

Trust is not easy to come by once it has been jeopardized.  Getting back to trust is not for the faint of hearts because the world is full of doubt to tempt you to not embrace trust but when you choose to invite trust in your world your world will reflect it back to you as balance, joy, and contentment.  So be courageous and choose to trust again.

Peace Adonai

 

 

 

 

On the Soul Level

 

I asked you to come so I may change

You came with gifts full of life

Yet I saw them as serpents and jagged-edged stones

 

On the soul level

I asked you for lessons in forgiveness

You came bearing betrayal

Until I learned to forgive and not recall the injury

Putting all trust in the Divine Process

 

On the soul level

I asked for lessons in gratitude

And you gave me a shack to live in

And we stayed there until I learned to be grateful

 

 

 

When I asked you on the soul level to

To teach me humility

You brought home flowers and a bottle of blackberry Merlot

Another next day you took me to a free jazz concert in the park

From this, I learn to appreciate humble beginnings and the free things in life

 

On the soul level

I asked you to teach me, love

And you left me alone in the night

Mesmerized in the pain of loneliness until

I lit a candle

Chanted OM mantras

And prayed out loud

Until my loneliness became a mystical retreat and I found myself in love with me

 

On the soul level

I witnessed your inner beauty and reveled in your godly strength

As I knew that spirit lived in you

Teaching me that I am

 

 

 

On the soul level, I asked you to help me find my strength

That I had lost in my own perceptions

And you threw stones in my path

So that I may fall in order to learn to rise up

Stronger each time by the Grace of God

 

When I asked you

On the soul level

To show me the way home

You gave me a golden key that opened my heart

And I found the Christ in me

With eyes like yours

Waiting with an extended hand.

 

 

Nazeelah Noorjahan

©2007-2018

 

Download Template

TEMPLATE FOR CHANGE PIECE OF MIND