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Gap tool. A great way to change your way and redefine what you are. This a good way to find out what you would like to more of and what you would like to let go.
What do you want ?,
Work from where do you stand today? Why did you choice to come to where you are today? This is your story, and only you know if this is right or wrong for you.
Do you see the missing bricks or links, do you know what it takes to go where you belong, and are you willing to make the steps and changes to get the outcome you want and be where you belong.
One suggestion is to use the tool with in NLP
- S – Specific – set your goal, investigates and make sure you have all point to set the specific goal.
- M – Measurable – know and therefore measure yourself
- A – Attractive – it must be attractive
- R – Realistic – are you being realistic
- T – Time framed – what is your time frame and hold yourself up on it
- E – Ecological – it must be good for the world else you know inside it is wrong.Use the Gap tool for the points you have, and look there are several gaps it is never one thing standing alone, when we use the gap tool take the advantage of using the forum or even start a group to talk about the gaps – what is in the gaps – there is never nothing.
Self coaching ?
When we do self-coaching, when we heal ourselves, we do it, we do it because something inside so strong, is moving us, we have to face that sometimes it is good to make the moves when it is only small things small gaps.
Our mind is our way, it is what we say it is, try it, just a small test, know something you tell yourself, and then tell yourself something very different.
Let me show you, what I mean,
I believe, and since I believe it, it is my truth, that parents in my son school has an attitude against us, so when I think this, what does that do to the way that I act. It influence me in a way that when I take my son to his class, this means, that when I meet any of the parents, I do not have a natural way of behaving, I am in alert and I am not an open person as I normally am.
So when the parents meet me, are they right if they say, that I am not friendly and an open person that is easy to talk to, yes they are, they are 100% right.
What does this show, that what I think that is how it is, because this is how I make it.
So what do I want, – do I want to be this person – they see:
- Not open
- Not friendly
- With an attitude
- I could say that I am very open, and if the right circumstances is there, we are all open, we are all friendly and we want to join.
See the GAP
The gap is and comes, when our experience tells us something. There is always a why and there is always a reason, no one does anything out of nothing.
There are 2 things, that can happen over time, one is that things stay as they are over time from their perspective, I will become the person that people see as not open, not friendly and with an attitude.
I decide to change the way I see it, this changes, the way I meet the people going in, and I am in charge of who I am and who I want to be.
My Gap is what do
I want to change and how do I want to have it. I need to ask and work with myself to find out what am I willing to do. What am I willing to do for my son, what kind of a mother do I want for him to have. How much does it mean for me that I am what I decide I am.
I can decide to, not to do anything,
I can let time go and let the decisions be taken by others, or I can decide, this is my life and my experience tells me, that the forces in the class are very strong and that I cannot change the attitude, we are different, and we see life differently.
I do not believe the same as they do,
I do not believe that I have the truth; I do not believe that we solve trouble and problems between our children by harassing and telling each other off. I do not believe that treats solves anything.
I do not want to be like that, and therefore my choice is to move my son from this. I want him to grow up understanding that we are all different and we all add to this world, that we do the best we can, and if you can see it done, better it is your responsibility to bid in with a voice.
What not to do
This is not done with harassments, treats, and telling of.
Therefore I choice to do things my way with my believes and if I am to do that, my gaps are, I am not a person that is not friendly, I am a kind person that believes that we speak nicely to everyone, and that everyone has a voice.
How do I practice this in daily life?
How can I be me, with what I believe, and how can I stay true to me knowing, that I am challenged several ways in my beliefs.
- So when parents write us and harass us as family and our son what do I do?
- So when parents are aggressive in persons what do I do?
- So when parents tell lies about us what do I do?
- So when parents twist the truth to their advantage what do I do?
- So when parents bullets us, what do I do?
All above are situations that I need to focus and prepare myself for, so I know what I do. Lesson, number one.
Never promise when you are happy
When you are hurt and angry do not say anything
Do not make decisions when you are sad.
If we go by this – then I must think about, what is the right thing to do, if there is anything with my son, I must ask the teacher, who is in place to say, what really happened, I will need to make sure that I never say or do anything that gives initiatives that I and we are like they say.
- I need to keep silent or calm in all situations,
- I need to have a nice and warm attitude when I am among
- I need to keep silent and listen,
- I need to see and hear, if I am to understand what forces that move the parents, and why.
And then I need to ask myself a very important question.
How much energy am I willing to put into this, how important is this to me? And how important is this to my son?
Gap tool is to see where you are
To see what you need to change and what you need to do.You can have a gap, and you can have a gap.
There are the gaps that you want to do something about, there are the gaps that are a goal for you to change, because you want to move yourself up or down to the level and the point.
There is the values and the understanding of the point, the difference in the gap, who would I be if I wrote the parents of every time the bullet my son. Who would I be if I wrote the parents of the girl that hit our son so hard and he had to go home because he was crying so much, who would I be if I wrote the parents treats and harassing things.
Why do parents think, that they have this right? Why does any parent think that they have the right, and know what is going on and even happening, what roll do they see that they have themselves, and what do they think. In this writing hour, I can honestly say, I could never ever write or say the things I see and hear. I am frankly so chocked that parents treat each other like this. Is this good behavior and how would I need to be in order to fit into this, and do I want to change to that.
A gap tool is such a great tool to work with over time,
Because it gives you a visual picture of your situation, you get to see the points from different angles and you get the opportunity to evaluate, see in this case, this case is very difficult, because I do not want to fill out the gap.
Take one mother, she takes her children to a level, where they push other children so hard, that the child ends up defending himself, and the mother takes her case and get this boy throne out of the school.
Why would you want to be a person, that does not accept others, and why would you want to be a person that throws other people out of school, you may have your reasons, and when we stop for a second, why is it, that we have a standard a way, that we see as the only way. When we know, that there are so many ways and sometimes by seeing the way of others we get strengthen in our own way. Why do we need others to do it our way?
Going back to the gap tool, the gap tool is all analyzes of all the points to understand, where you stand today and where you would like to stand.
What steps to take to define
Looking at the case
– my fist stand was, that I am willing to do what it takes to be a part of the parents in my sons class. First I thought I would do anything – now from going into the analysis I know that I do not want to be a person that report others, I do not want to be a person that treats, harass and kick other people out.
So my first assumption’s that I am willing to be what it takes to be apart, I can no longer work, and using the Gap tool tells me that I need to find other ways, there is another outcome. I need to find out how I can be who I am, in a space where I think I do not belong and do not want to belong.
Where do I go from here?
The Gap tool, if you decide to use it in the forum or group remembers to tell the reader that you are using the gap tool, if we do not tell, doing we write that we are using the gap tool it can be very difficult for the reader to understand why we are talking all points from several sides.
The good part when writing in the Gap tool is that you get to be challenged and you yourself have a change to see what is happening, and where are you, and who and what do you want to be.
Using the Gap tool
Using the Gap tool is also very efficient for yourself, and are you willing to do, what it takes and what is required. What you see, is also what is there, what you define is true is the truth to you.
Are you willing to do the changes, and what are those changes?
If we look at a case; like I want to be fit, are you willing to add the hours into training, if I want to be fit and in with good muscles am I willing to work out the hours, that are required in order to be as fit as I want. Do I want to eat healthy food to be healthy? Using the gap tool is talking about, what does it require and am I willing to do what it takes.
We think, we know and we think we understand. What it takes, and once we start working with the gap tools and get all the points in. We may have had a vision and a view, and we will see that we need to take the gap tool more than once, we may be wrong in our assumptions, as I was with the parents, I never ever want to be like them. I am not that, and I do not need to tell or make a deal of it.
I need to work the Gap tool again to find out, where I can get a balance and what I am willing to do. I need to look even deeper to find out why, I need to ask myself why, why and how to get this to work better for the sake of my son.
Using the Gap tool is all about looking at where you, to where you want to be, what is in between and are you willing to do, what is in between. It is all the in between that is in question.
We within CAL can recommend using the Gap tool when you have a topic for which you would like to change the outcome.
Tell everyone what you do during your journey – what are your first steps, your understanding of your own gap. How did you get the wake-up call.
How did you manage to move on – to better outcome –